what's the difference between a fly & a mosquito?
Simple!
A fly can fly, but a mosquito cannot mosquito!!
(2) What did baby corn ask mom corn???
Where is Pop corn?
(3) Why is the River Rich?
It has two Banks!
(4) What do computers like to eat?
Chips!
(5) Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to School???
She had a Bright Student.
(6) When does Gulshan Grover become Gulshan Grocer.???
Ans: When he travels with the speed of light.(At that Speed, V=C)
(Velocity = Constant).
(7) Ek aadmi ke pass ek kauwa (CROW) tha ???.wo bahut hi naram mulayam tha
??.
To woh aadmi uska naam kya rakhega ???
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A) MICROSOFT ( My- Crow ? Soft )
8) Why did the girl changed her name from Shruti to Shraxis?
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Because UTI bank is now Axis bank. Shruti ---Shraxis
1. A cow standing on the road keeps shouting 'F'... 'F'...
Why???
Because F=ma ( Newton 's Second Law :) )
2. A boy throws a bottle of Bournvita out of the window. A cat sees it, and
takes the bottle of bournvita and buries it under the ground. Why?
Because 'CAT-BURIES' Bournvita
3. Who is called female Java?
Java'Gal' Srinath
4. 3 cockroaches are walking on the road. Suddenly 1 of them starts singing
'Tujhe Dekha To Yeh Jaana Sanam...' And the other 2 die immediately. Why?
standard chaooooooooos
nice interview
1. Why did you apply for this job?
I have applied for many jobs along with this one and it's just that you called me first.
2. Why do you want to work for this company?
I have to work for some company, whoever gives me a job, I don't have any specific company in mind.
3. Why should I hire you?
You have to hire some one, you may give me a try.
4. What would you do if this happened?
Well, it depends on my mindset and mood in that situation...
5. What is your biggest strength?
I dare to join any company who pays me well, without thinking about the fate of company.
6. What is your biggest weakness?
Girls
7. What was your worst mistake and how did you learn from it?
Joining my earlier company and I learnt that I need to switch my job to get more money, so I am here today.
8. What accomplishments in your last position are you most proud of?
Had I accomplished any in my last position, why do I need to change my job? I could demand more and stay there.
9. Describe a challenge that you faced and how did you overcome it?
Biggest challenge is answering the question "why are you looking for a change" and I started blabbering irrelevantly to overcome that.
10. Why did you leave/ are you leaving your last job?
For the same reason why you left your previous job.
11. What do you want from this job?
No work and good hikes.
12. What are your career goals and how do you plan to achieve them?
Making more money and for that I keep switching jobs every two years.
13. What do you know about our company?
I knew you will ask me this question. So, I've gone through your website.
14. What salary are you expecting?
Well, no one will change his job for the same salary, hence, give me 20% extra than what I am getting right now. I know you will bargain on whatever I ask. So I have already hiked my current salary by 30%.
What is yours?
Once you have discovered your Birth Number, forward this email to the
rest of your friends, including the one who sent this to you.
Put your 'number' in the 'Subject' and pass it on! Have fun!
Our Birth Date describes who we are, what we are good at, and what our
inborn abilities are. It also points to what we have to learn and the
challenge
s we are facing. To figure out your Birth Number, add all the
numbers in your Birth Date together, like in
the following example, until there is only one digit.
A Birth Number does not prevent you from being anything you want to be,
it will just color your choice differently and give you a little
insight.
Example: March 20, 1950
3 + 20 + 1950 = 1973
1 + 9 + 7 + 3 = 20
2 + 0 = 2
2 is the Birth Number to read for the Birth Date in the example. Keep
going until you end up with a single digit number.
#1 THE ORIGINATOR
#2 THE PEACEMAKER
#3 THE LIFE OF THE PARTY
#4 THE CONSERVATIVE
#5 THE NONCONFORMIST
#6 THE ROMANTIC
#7 THE INTELLECTUAL
#8 THE BIG SHOT
#9 THE PERFORMER
Mine is 5.
# 1 - THE ORIGINATOR - 1's are originals. Coming up with new ideas and
executing them is natural. Having things their own way is another
trait that gets them labeled as being stubborn and arrogant. 1's are
extremely honest and would do well to learn some
diplomacy skills. They like to take the initiative and are often
leaders or bosses, as they like to be the best.
Being self-employed is definitely helpful for them. Lessons to learn:
Others' ideas might be just as good or better; and to stay open
minded. {Famous 1's - Tom Hanks, Robert Redford, Hulk Hogan, Carol
Burnett,
Wynona Judd, Nancy Reagan, and Raquel Welch.}
#2 - THE PEACEMAKER - 2's are the born diplomats. They are aware of
others' needs and moods and often think of others before themselves.
Naturally analytical and very intuitive, they don't like to be alone.
Friendship and companionship are very important
and can lead them to be successful in life; but, on the other hand,
they'd rather be alone than in an uncomfortable relationship. Being
naturally shy, they should learn to boost their self-esteem and express
themselves freely and seize the moment and not put things off. {Famous
2's - President Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoopie Goldberg, Thomas Edison,
and Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.}
# 3 - THE LIFE OF THE PARTY - 3's are idealists. They are very
creative, social, charming, romantic, and easygoing. They start many
things but don't always see them through. They like others20to be
happy and go to great lengths to achieve it. They are
very popular and idealistic. They should learn to see the world from
a more realistic point of view. {! Famous 3 's - Alan Alda, Ann
Landers, Bill Cosby, Melanie Griffith, Salvador Dali, and Jodi Foster}
# 4 - THE CONSERVATIVE - 4's are sensible and traditional. They like
order and routine. They only act when they fully understand what
they're expected to do. They like getting their hands dirty and
working hard. They are attracted to the outdoors and feel
an affinity with nature. They are prepared to wait and can be stubborn
and
persistent. They should
learn to be more flexible and to be nice to themselves. {Famous 4's -
Neil Diamond, Margaret Thatcher, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tina Turner,
Paul Hogan, and Oprah Winfrey}
# 5 - THE NONCONFORMIST - 5's are the explorers. Their natural
curiosity, risk taking, and enthusiasm often land them in hot water.
They need diversity, and don't like to be stuck in a rut. The whole
world is their school and they see a learning possibility
in every situation. The questions never stop. They are well advised
to look before they take action and make sure they have all the facts
before jumping to conclusions. {Famous 5's - Abraham Lincoln,
Charlotte Bronte, Jessica Walters, Vincent Van Gogh, Bette
Midler, Helen Keller
and Mark Hail.}
# 6 - THE ROMANTIC - 6's are idealistic and need to feel useful to be
happy. A strong family connection is important to them. Their actions
influence their decisions. They have a strong urge to take care of
others and to help. They are very loyal and make
great teachers. They like art or music. They make loyal friends who
take the friendship seriously. 6's should learn to
differentiate between what they can change and what they cannot.
{Famous 6's - Albert Einstein, Jane Seymour, John Denver, Meryl Streep,
Christopher Columbus, and Goldie Hawn}
#7 - THE INTELLECTUAL - 7's are the searchers. Always probing for
hidden information, they find it difficult to accept things at face
value. Emotions don't sway their decisions. Questioning everything in
life, they don't like to be questioned themselves.
They're never off to a fast start, and their motto is 'slow and
steady wins the race.' They come across as
philosophers and being very knowledgeable, and sometimes as loners.
They are technically inclined and make great researchers uncovering
information. They like secrets. They live in their own world and
should
learn what is acceptable and what is not in the world at large.
{Famous 7's - William Shakespeare, Lucille Ball, Michael Jackson,
Joan Baez, Princess Diana, and Vince Ricciardi}
# 8 - THE BIG SHOT - 8's are the problem solvers. They are
professional, blunt, and to the point, have good judgment and are
decisive. They have grand plans and like to live the good life. They
take charge of people. They view people objectively. They should
learn to base their decisions on their own needs rather than on what
others want. {Famous 8's - Edgar Cayce, Barbra Streisand, George
Harrison, Jane Fonda, Pablo Picasso, Aretha Franklin, and Nostradamus.}
#9 - THE PERFORMER - 9's are natural entertainers. They are very
caring and generous, giving away their last dollar to help. With their
charm, they have no problem making friends and nobody is a stranger to
them. They have so many different personalities
that people around them have a hard time understanding them. They are
like chameleons, ever changing and blending in. They have tremendous
luck, but also can suffer from extremes in fortune and mood. To be
successful, they need to build a loving foundation.
{Famous 9s - Albert Schweitzer, Shirley MacLaine, Harrison Ford ,
Jimmy Carter, and Elvis Presley}
A corporate story
Once upon a time the government with Ruling Party XYZ.. had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.
Ruling Party XYZ Said.. - "Someone may steal from it at night."
So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said..
- "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?"
So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said..,
- "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?"
So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said.. ,
- "How are these people going to get paid?"
So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said..,
- "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"
So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary. Then Ruling Party XYZ Said..,
- "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost."
So they laid off the night watchman.
Moral of the story:
"Current Situation In IT industries"
Indian Hell
There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.
He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?"
He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more.
"But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?"
"Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen!!!
if Vikramarkudu is a software engineer..
Good one……
if Vikramarkudu is a software engineer….
Era programming ku bayapadi office ku rakunmturgda undataniki nenemina allatappa programmer ni anukunnara…
Rathode ..Vikram singh Rathode…
Program ante naku bayam kadu ra …program ke nenante bayam…..
Rey prema ga rasukunna na program meeda ottu…..
Nenu code chesina ee program execute kakunna,,,,meeru rasina program na prog kante okka kshanam mundu execute ina
Na meesam teesi ee software job manesthanu…randra kodukullara?????
prakashRaj(PR):vikramsingh rathode….nalugellalo nalugu company lu… 4 sarlu hike lu…record bagane undi.
Rathode software company lo cherinapudu bayam,bakthi undali avi inka neeku alavatu padinatlu ledu.
Asalu bayam ante elaga untundo telusa neeku…
Early morning 9 gantalaku office ku vasthav..ratri 9 avuthundi,10 avuthundi..11 gantalaku barya nundi phone
Vasthundi. Phone lift chesthe enni boothulu vinalsi vasthutundo anna bayam elaga untundo telusa????
Poddunne office ki vachinappudu bugs kuppalu kuppluga vachipadathai..em cheyyaloo artham kadu..appudu
PM thitle vinapadathai..appudu bayam ela untundo telusa..
Bayam chala viluvinadi..one shoud have healthy respect towards fear.
Rathode: evaru chepparu sir nenu bayapadatam ledani….
Ippudu appudu kadu anukshanam bayapaduthu vuntanu…
Nalugella kritham company lo join inapudu ,,,e nimisham lo nina bugs remove chesthanani pratigna chesanu sir..
Ichina mata ekkada thapputhano ani anukshanam bayapaduthunatanu sir…
Program thappu rasinavadiki line line lo bayam kanapaduthundi….
Kani na bayam na output meeda untundi sir..
Nadi okate mata sir,
Abends na eduruga unnappudu na kallallo beraku undakudadhu, na muthi meeda chirunavvu undali,
Na cheyyi na keyboard meeda undali.
The Garbage Truck Principle.....Good one!!!
Good One read it.
One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches!
The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly. So I asked, 'Why did you just do that?
This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!' This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Garbage Truck Principle'.
He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. Don't take it personally.
Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don't.
Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!
Lateral thinking..
Many years ago in a small Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender. The moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful daughter. So he proposed a bargain. He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his daughter.
Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the proposal. So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let providence decide the matter.
He told them that he would put a black pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would have to pick one pebble from the bag. If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her father's debt would be forgiven. If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her father's debt would still be forgiven. But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.
All the villagers were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles.
As he picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to pick a pebble from the bag. Now, imagine you were standing in the field.
What would you have done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you have told her?
Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.
2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag and expose the money-lender as a cheat.
3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.
Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between lateral and logical thinking.
The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with traditional logical thinking.
Think of the consequences if she chooses the above logical answers.
What would you recommend to the Girl to do? ;;;;;;;
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Well, what she did was:
The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.
"Oh, how clumsy of me," she said. "But never mind, if you look into the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which pebble I picked."
Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the money-lender dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Most complex problems do have a solution. It is only that we don't attempt to think.
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