A Guy WAS chatting with a female (never met...
A Guy WAS chatting with a female (never met her directly) - Online chat. (Background, both are s/w engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC's ) Hero: Hey...GM (Good Morning)... How's u doing today? Female: VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat Hero: wow...am honored, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on Chat Female: Yep...me too feel the same...Brb (be right back)'ll get some Coffee. Hero: OK (Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.) Manager: Hey, I need some help from you Hero: [** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me Manager: Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number, given value of n. would you give this by today evening? Hero: I would do that, but I think it's quite hard, is it ok with you, if I give it by tomorrow evening. Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place] (Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...) Female: Hey, am back Hero: cool, you know what my manager does, she's kinda..... Keeps asking stupid Things, tries to give me stupid work Female: Yeah, it's the same everywhere. Real sick people these managers are!! Hero: Yep, u rite!! Female: Hey, can u do me a favor Hero: smiles sure, why not. Female: Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number; given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it's real urgent for me to work this out Hero: hey, that's a one-hour's work. Sure check Ur mail in an hour from now. Ok? Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW WHO I AM!! AND ONE MORE POINT.... YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!!!!! :( |
dying granny
A dying granny was talking to her granddaughter:
"I may die any minute so I want you to inherit my farm including the villa, tractor, the farmhouse and all the livestock and $22,389,630.00 cash".
The granddaughter replied: "Wow!!" 'Thanks granny, I didn't know you even had a farm & all this wealth! Where is it??"
Granny says with her last dying breath....
"
"""
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""""""
Same Service
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking." "Why complain?" said the counselor. " You're still getting the same service !"
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What to Take to Bed for Security
Some info on safety.
What to take to bed with you - not a joke...
Pretty neat idea. Never thought of it before.Put your car keys beside your bed at nightTell your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your parents. Put your car keys beside your bed at night.If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies. This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this: It's a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage. If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar/rapist won't stick around. After a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won't want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there. This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.Note : even it works in sudden heart attack
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difference
A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of BMW Car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the
side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.
side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, ? Hello Doctor!! Please come over here
for a minute."
for a minute."
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take
valves out, grind "em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing
basically the same work? " .
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take
valves out, grind "em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing
basically the same work? " .
The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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.
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..
.
He said:" Try to do it when the engine is running
Funny IT Staff
Funny IT Staff
1.Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby
in One month.
2. Content Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to
deliver a Baby.
3. Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine
babies in one month.
4. Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
5. Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even
if no man and woman are available.
6. Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman;
they'll produce a child with zero resources.
7. Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is
delivered, they'll just document it in 9 months.
8. Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS
to produce a baby.
A Call for a get together..Read on..
Jandyala's style keep laughing:-)
USE AND HAVE FUN:
కాకి నోట్లోంచి బ్రెడ్ ముక్క లాక్కునే అంట్ల కాకి ఎదవా …
atmలో pan card పెట్టే తింగరి సన్నాసి….
ac కోసం atm కి వెళ్లి బాలన్స్ enquiry చేసే కక్కుర్తి ఎదవ…
# 108 vehicle ని ఆపి లిఫ్ట్ అడిగి తిట్లు తినే తింగరి ఎదవ
రెండో floor లో పెట్రోల్ బంక్ పెట్టి దివాలా తీసిన ఫేసూ.
తిని పాడేసిన విస్తరాకులు కడిగి అమ్మే కక్కుర్తి ఎదవా
బూట్ పాలిష్ కుర్రాడితో బేరాలాడి 50 % డిస్కౌంట్ కి చేయించుకునే పీనాసి నాయాల
కాకి రెట్టేసిన క్లైంట్ మీటింగ్ కి వెళ్ళిపోయే చెత్త నాయాల
నల్ల cooling glass వేసుకుని నల్ల అద్దంలో చూసుకుంటూ మాడిపోయిన మసాలా
దోసను అమావాస్య రోజు current పోయిన Time లో తినే కక్కుర్తి యెదవ.
విమానంలో kerchief వేసి seat book చేసుకోటానికి parachute వేసుకెళ్ళే పిచ్చి వెధవ
Sunday night PUB కి వెళ్ళి వేడిగా ఉప్మా ఉందా అని అడిగే ఏబ్రాసి.
కుక్క వెంటపడుతుంటే పరిగెత్తకుండా vodofone sim తీసి పడేసే అక్కుపక్షి
శవం మీద మరమరాలు ఏరుకొని bhel puri చేసుకొని తినే పెంట మొహమా..
అక్షయపాత్ర చేతిలో పెట్టుకుని అడుక్కుతినే వెదవ
అష్ట దరిద్రమైన శని గ్రహానికి powder పూసి, బొట్టు పెట్టిన దయ్యంలా ఉన్నావ్….
Aquarium లో చేపలు పట్టే ఫేసూ..
ఎర్రసైన్యం R.narayana murthy దగ్గర break dance నేర్చుకొనే ఎదవా..
నువ్వు బీడు బడిన బ్లేడ్*రా.
సగం కంపైల్ అయిన కోడ్* గాడివి
రాబందు రెట్టవి, బొద్దింక క్లేసానివి
ఎండ్రిన్ డబ్బాలో ఏరుసెన్నక్కాయలు దాచుకుని తినే ఎర్రి పీనుగా.
లాలి పాటను రీమిక్స్ చేసి మాటలు రాని పిల్లలతో బూతులు తిట్టించుకునే బూచోడా.
మంచుతో చేసేదే మంచురియ అనుకునే మొహం
చీపురు కూడా చీప్*ది కొనే చప్రాసెదవ.
ఆకలికి పురుగుల మందులో చెక్కర వేసుకొని తాగే మొహం
మంచు కరిగించి మంచి నీళ్ళని అమ్మే వెధవ మొహం
ఐ-మాక్స్ సినిమాకు బైనోకులర్స్ పట్టుకెళ్ళే బేఖూఫ్ ఎదవ.
కట్టింగ్ షాప్*లో కత్తెర దొంగిలించే ఫేసు.
పిచుకల గూట్లో పీసుమిఠాయి వెతికే పింజారెదవా.
రాగి సంగటి అంటే రాగి తీగలతో చేస్తారని అనుకునే మొహం
పుచ్చిపోయిన వంకాయలతో గుత్తొంకాయ కూర చేసుకుని తినే మొహం
అరోగ్య శ్రీ యాడ్*ను పైరసీ చేసి అమ్మే అరమైండ్ ఎదవ.
youtubeలో నంది పైపులు, tubeలు వెతికే మొహం.
తుఫానులో తువాలు పొయిందని ఫీల్ అయ్యే తుప్రాసెదవ.
కలలో కలాంను కలవరించే కలర్ బ్లైండ్*నెస్ ఫెలొ.
TVలో వచ్చే సినిమాను కూడా రివ్యూ చదివి చూసే మొహం.
బొచ్చు పీకిన ఎలుగు బంటి లా వున్నావ్.
వినాయక చవితి రోజు గణేష్ బీడిలమ్మే గలీజ్*గా.
సత్తు సామానోడికి సాఫ్ట్*వేర్ అమ్మాలనుకునే మొహం.
తేనెపట్టుని చుట్టబెట్టుకుని తట్టబుట్ట పట్టుకుని పెట్టతో
చట్టాపట్టాలేసుని చుట్టుపక్కలా తిరిగే బెట్టుయెదవ
పప్పు లొ ఉప్పేసుకుని కప్పు లో తాగే కంపునాయాల
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