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TYPES OF GIRLS in Software Language..


There are basically 7 TYPES OF GIRLS in Software Language..

 

1. HARD DISK Girls:

Remember everything forever.

 

2. RAM Girls:

Forgets about you the moment you turn her off.

 

3. SCREEN SAVER Girls:

just for looking.

 

4. INTERNET Girls:

Difficult to access.

 

5. SERVER Girls:

Always busy when needed.

 

6. MULTIMEDIA Girls:

Makes horrible things looks beautiful.

 

7. VIRUS Girls :

These type of girls are normally called 'WIFE'

once enters in your system don't leave even after format..

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Prayers been answered!!


A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem.

I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one   thing. They keep saying "Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?"

"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed. "But I do have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots to whom I have taught to pray and read the bible.

My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship."

So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house.

The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking Parrots, and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?"

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams, "Put your Bible away Idiot, our prayers have been answered!!!!!!!"

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Kishuus.emails, Win Rs. 50,000 this august!

 

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A Guy WAS chatting with a female (never met...


A Guy WAS chatting with a female (never met her directly) - Online chat.
(Background, both are s/w engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC's )
Hero: Hey...GM (Good Morning)... How's u doing today?
Female: VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat
Hero: wow...am honored, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on Chat
Female: Yep...me too feel the same...Brb (be right back)'ll get some Coffee.
Hero: OK (Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.)
Manager: Hey, I need some help from you
Hero: [** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me
Manager: Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number, given value of n. would you give this by today evening?
Hero: I would do that, but I think it's quite hard, is it ok with you, if I give it by tomorrow evening.
Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place]
(Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...)
Female: Hey, am back
Hero: cool, you know what my manager does, she's kinda..... Keeps asking stupid Things, tries to give me stupid work
Female: Yeah, it's the same everywhere. Real sick people these managers are!!
Hero: Yep, u rite!!
Female: Hey, can u do me a favor
Hero: smiles sure, why not.
Female: Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number; given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it's real urgent for me to work this out
Hero: hey, that's a one-hour's work. Sure check Ur mail in an hour from now. Ok?
Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW WHO I AM!! AND ONE MORE POINT.... YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!!!!! :(

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dying granny


 

A dying granny was talking to her granddaughter:
"I may die any minute so I want you to inherit my farm including the villa, tractor, the farmhouse and all the livestock and $22,389,630.00 cash".
The granddaughter replied: "Wow!!" 'Thanks granny, I didn't know you even had a farm & all this wealth! Where is it??"

Granny says with her last dying breath....
"

"""


""""""



""""""



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Same Service


 

 
A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking." "Why complain?" said the counselor. " You're still getting the same service !"
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club 99


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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What to Take to Bed for Security


Some info on safety.
What to take to bed with you - not a joke...
Pretty neat idea. Never thought of it before.
 
Put your car keys beside your bed at night
 
Tell your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your parents. Put your car keys beside your bed at night.
 
If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies. This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this: It's a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage. If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar/rapist won't stick around. After a few seconds all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won't want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there. This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.
 
Note : even it works in sudden heart attack

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difference

 

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of BMW Car  when he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off to the
side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at his car.

The mechanic shouted across the garage, ? Hello Doctor!! Please come over here
for a minute."
The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take
valves out, grind "em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing
basically the same work? " .
The doctor leaned over and whispered to the  mechanic.....
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He said:" Try to do it when the engine is running
 

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how it goes in courts



 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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