A womans persective............
A woman went to her doctor.
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Stock Market !! new prespective
The Stock Market simply illustrated ... is there a lesson here?
Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for Rs10. The villagers seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at Rs10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at Rs20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to Rs25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey let alone catch it.
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at Rs50! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him. In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers. Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at Rs35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for Rs50." The villagers squeezed up with all their savings to buy the monkeys. Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!! !! Welcome to the Market!
The Story of an Indian Software Engineer-Must Read
ONE BEDROOM FLAT: AN INDIAN SOFTWARE ENGINEER'S LIFE - A Bitter Reality
As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in Software
Engineer and joined a company based in USA , the land of braves and
opportunity.
When I arrived in the USA , it
was as if a dream had come
true.
Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would
be staying in this country for about Five years in which time I would
have earned enough money to settle down in India .
My father was a government employee and after his retirement, the only
asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat. I wanted to do
some thing more than him. I started feeling homesick and lonely as the
time passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents every week
using cheap international phone cards. Two years passed, two years of
Burgers at McDonald's and pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the
foreign exchange rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went
down.
Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have only 10
days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. I
got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight. Was jubilant and was
actually enjoying hopping for gifts for all my friends back home. If I
miss anyone then there will be talks. After reaching home I spent home
one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time
was getting shorter I was forced to select one candidate. In-laws told
me, to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3 days, as I
will not get anymore holidays. After the marriage, it was time to
return to USA , after giving some money to my parents and telling the
neighbors to look after them, we returned to USA .
My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started
feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a
week sometimes 3 times a week. Our savings started diminishing. After
two more years we started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a
girl, were gifted to us by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my
parents, they asked me to come to India so that they can see their
grand-children. Every year I decide to go to India . But part work part
monetary conditions prevented it.
Years went by and visiting India was a distant dream. Then suddenly
one day I got a message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried
but I couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India . The next
message
I got was my parents passed
away and as there was no
one to do the last rights the society members had done whatever they
could. I was depressed. My parents passed away without seeing
their grand children.
After couple more years passed away, much to my children's dislike and
my wife's joy we returned to India to settle down. I started to look
for a suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and
the property prices had gone up during all these years. I had to
return to the USA .
My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to stay
in India . My 2 children and I returned to USA after promising my wife
I would be back for good after two years.
Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and
my son was happy living in USA . I decided that had enough and wound-up
every thing and returned to India . I had just enough money to buy a
decent 2 bedroom flat in a well-developed locality. Now I am 60 years
old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit to
the nearby temple. My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the
holy abode.
Sometimes I wondered was it worth all this? My father, even after
staying in India , had a house to his name and I too have the same
nothing more. I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA
BEDROOM.
Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing. This
damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these children are
losing their values and culture because of it. I get occasional cards
from my children asking I am alright. Well at least they remember
me. Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will be
performing my last rights, God Bless them. But the question still
remains 'was all this worth it?'
-The
story of an Indian Software Engineer
Love Story.......
There was a beautiful girl named Rexona& handsome boy named Cinthol,
Rexona & cinthol fell in love with each other.
Rexona's parents wereHamam & Margo,
cinthol's parents were wheel & Nirma,
Rexona was very excited to make cinthol his"LifeBuoy".
They wished to marry & approachtheir aunt 501 who mannages to convince them.
Rexona & cinthol were veryhappy in thier love they fixed their marrige at " Fair & lovely "
garden opposite to Santoor theatre,
Medimix city ...They invite their friends Lux, Dove, Dettol, Savlon, Tide, Fa, Jo andothers.
Rexona & cinthol got married andlived Happily in their Dream land "PEARS "
and after 1 year
they got twins
'Johnson & Johnson'
Innocence at its best.... nice one
A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor’s office.
He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"
She replied, "I'm having a baby."
With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"
She answered, "He sure is."
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"
She said, "Oh, yes.
It's a real good baby."
With an even more surprised and shocked look,
he asked,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
,
.
.
"Then why did you eat him?"
PIN NUMBER REVERSAL (VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW)
PIN NUMBER REVERSAL (VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW)
If you should ever be forced by a robber to withdraw money from an ATM machine, you can notify the police by entering your Pin # in reverse.For example if your pin number is 1234 then you would put in 4321.
The ATM recognizes that your pin number is backwards from the ATM card you placed in the machine. The machine will still give you the money you requested, but unknown to The robber, the police will be immediately dispatched to help you.
Happiest People
"The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems, but those who learn to live with things that are lessthan perfect."
A Mathematician's Love Letter
A Mathematician’s Love Letter..
A Mathematician's Love Letter
De-Morgan's Law,
Binomial Avenue,
United States of Matrices.
My Dear Love,
Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in face,conical nose and spherical eyes,standing in your triangular garden. Before seeing you my
heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated. My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me. The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity.
You are as essential to me as an element to a set. The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality. My love, if you do not meet me at
parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset,when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like an unsolved polynomial of degree 10.
With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.
Yours ever loving,
Pythagoras.
Some funny lines
Some
funny lines J
OFFICE
ARITHMETIC
Smart boss
+ smart employee = profit
Smart boss
+ dumb employee = production
Dumb boss
+ smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss
+ dumb employee = overtime
********
SHOPPING
MATH
A man will
pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman
will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
********
GENERAL
EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman
worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man
never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A
successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A
successful woman is one who can find such a man.
********
********
HAPPINESS
To be
happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little.
To be
happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at
all.
********
LONGEVITY
Married
men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to
die.
********
PROPENSITY
TO CHANGE
A woman
marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man
marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
********
DISCUSSION
T! ECHNIQUE
A woman
has the last word in any argument.
Anything a
man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
********
HOW TO STOP
PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts
used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling
me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at
funerals.
Wish tree
May be you wont believe it.. but this pic is of the holy tree in Arunachal Pradesh...
just look at it for 5 seconds and make a wish.. and then forward to atleast 10 of your close friends and your wish will come true, however impossible it may be..
dont take it as a joke...
Interactions with American clients - Useful tips
Interactions with American clients - Useful tips
1. Do not write "the same" in an email - it makes little sense to them.
Example - I will try to organize the project artifacts and inform you of the same when it is done.
This is somewhat an Indian construct. It is better written simply as:
I will try to organize the project artifacts and inform you when that is done
2. Do not write or say, "I have some doubts on this issue"
The term "Doubt" is used in the sense of doubting someone - we use this term because in Indian languages, the word for a "doubt"
and a "question" is the same.
The correct usage (for clients) is:
I have a few questions on this issue
3. The term "regard" is not used much in American English. They usually do not say "regarding this issue" or "with regard to this".
Simply use, "about this issue".
4. Do not say "Pardon" when you want someone to repeat what they said. The word "Pardon" is unusual for them and is somewhat
formal. You can say, ‘Please come again or could you please repeat.’
5. Americans do not understand most of the Indian accent immediately - They only understand 75% of what we speak and then interpret the
rest. Therefore try not to use shortcut terms such as "Can't" or "Don't". Use the expanded "Cannot" or "Do not".
6. Do not use the term "screwed up" liberally. If a situation is not good, it is better to say, "The situation is messed up". Do not use words
such as "shucks", or "pissed off".
7. As a general matter of form, Indians interrupt each other constantly in meetings - DO NOT interrupt a client when they are speaking.
Over the phone, there could be delays - but wait for a short time before responding.
8. When explaining some complex issue, stop occasionally and ask "Does that make sense?". This is preferrable than "Do you understand
me?"
9. In email communications, use proper punctuation. To explain something, without breaking your flow, use semicolons, hyphens or
paranthesis. As an example:
You have entered a new bug (the popup not showing up) in the defect tracking system; we could not reproduce it - although,
a screenshot would help.
Notice that a reference to the actual bug is added in paranthesis so that the sentence flow is not broken. Break a long sentence
using such punctuation.
10. In American English, a mail is a posted letter. An email is electronic mail.
When you say "I mailed the information to you", it means you sent an actual letter or package through the postal system.
The correct usage is: "I emailed the information to you"
11. To "prepone" an appointment is an Indian usage. There is no actual word called prepone. You can "advance" an appointment.
12. In the term "N-tier Architecture" or "3-tier Architecture", the word "tier" is NOT pronounced as "Tire". I have seen many people pronounce it
this way. The correct pronunciation is "tea-yar". The "ti" is pronounced as "tea".
13. The usages "September End", "Month End", "Day End" are not understood well by Americans. They use these as "End of September",
"End of Month" or "End of Day".
14. Americans have weird conventions for time - when they say the time is "Quarter Of One", they mean the time is 1:15. Better to ask them
the exact time.
15. Indians commonly use the terms "Today Evening", "Today Night". These are not correct; "Today" means "This Day" where the Day stands
for Daytime. Therefore "Today Night" is confusing. The correct usages are: "This Evening", "Tonight".
That applies for "Yesterday Night" and "Yesterday Evening". The correct usages are: "Last Night" and "Last Evening".
16. When Americans want to know the time, it is usual for them to say, "Do you have the time?". Which makes no sense to an indian.
17. There is no word called "Updation". You update somebody. You wait for updates to happen to the database. Avoid saying "Updation".
18. When you talk with someone for the first time, refer to them as they refer to you - in America, the first conversation usually starts by
using the first name. Therefore you can use the first name of a client. Do not say "Sir". Do not call women "Madam".
19. It is usual convention in initial emails (particularly technical) to expand abbreviations, this way:
We are planning to use the Java API for Registry (JAXR).
After mentioning the expanded form once, subsequently you can use the abbreviation.
20. Make sure you always have a subject in your emails and that the subject is relevant.
Do not use a subject line such as HI.
21. Avoid using "Back" instead of "Back" Use "ago". Back is the worst word for American. (for Days use "Ago", for hours use "before")
22. Avoid using "but" instead of "But" Use "However".
23. Avoid using "Yesterday" hereafter use "Last day".
24. Avoid using "Tomorrow" hereafter use "Next day".
"Out-Of-Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies
BEST !!! "Out-Of-Office" E-Mail Auto-Replies
1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
2: I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.
3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management
5: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
6: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
7: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.'
(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).
8: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
9: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
10: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.
11: I've run away to join a different circus.
~~~gOne are the days~~~
Our
Past Days
When the
school reopened in June,
And we settled in our new desks and
benches!
When we queued up in book depot,
And got our new
books and notes!
When we wanted two Sundays and no
Mondays,
Yet
managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.
We learnt
writing with slates and pencils, and
Progressed
To fountain pens and ball pens and then Micro tips!
When we began drawing with crayons and evolved to
Color
pencils and finally sketch pens!
When we started
calculating first with tables and then with
! Clarke's tables and
advanced to
Calculators
and computers!
When we chased one another in the
corridors
in Intervals, and returned to the classrooms
Drenched in
sweat!
When we had lunch in classrooms,
corridors,
Playgrounds, under the trees and even in cycle sheds!
When all the colors in the world,
campus on the Second Saturdays!
;
When a single P.T.
period in the week's Time Table,
Was awaited more eagerly than the
monsoons!
When cricket was played with writing pads as
bats,
And Neckties and socks rolled into balls!
When few played "kabadi" and "Kho-Kho" in scorching
sun,
While others simply played "book cricket" in
the
Confines
of classroom!
Of fights but no conspiracies,
Of
Competitions but seldom jealousy!
When we used to watch
Live Cricket telecast,
In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch
breaks!
When few rushed at 3:45
to "Conquer" window seats in our School bus!
While few
others had "Big Fun", "peppermint"
"kulfi",
" milk ice !" and "sharbat !" at 4o Clock!
Gone are the
days
Of Sports Day, and the annual School Day,
And
the one-month long preparations for them.
Gone are
the days
Of the stressful Quarterly,
Half Yearly and Annual
Exams, And the most
enjoyed holidays after
them!
Gone are the days
Of tenth and twelfth
standards, when
We Spent almost the whole year writing revision
tests!
We learnt,
We enjoyed,
We played,
We won,
We
lost,
We laughed,
We cried,
We fought,
We
thought.
With so much fun in them, so many
friends,
So much experience, all this and more!
Gone are the days
When we used
to talk for
hours with our friends!
Now we don't have time to say a
'Hi'!
Gone are the days
When we played games on the
road!
Now we Code on the road with laptop!
Gone are the days
When we
saw stars Shining at Night!
Now we see stars when our code
doesn't Work!
Gone are the days
When
we sat to chat with Friends on grounds!
Now we chat in chat
rooms.....!
Gone are
the days
Where
we studied just to pass!
Now we study to save our
job!
Gone are the days
Where we had no money in our
pockets
and
still fun filled on our hearts!!
Now
we have the ATM as well as credit card but with an empty heart!!
Gone are the days
Where we shouted on the
road!
Now we don't shout even at home
Gone are the days
Where we got lectures from
all!
Now we give lectures to all...
Gone
are the days
But not the memories, which will
be
Lingering
in our hearts for ever and ever and
Ever and ever and ever
.....
Gone are the Days.... But still there are
lot more Days to come in our Life!!
NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU
ARE ,
DONT FORGET TO
LIVE THE LIFE THAT
STILL
EXISTS....
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