TYPES OF GIRLS in Software Language..

There are basically 7 TYPES OF GIRLS in Software Language..

 

1. HARD DISK Girls:

Remember everything forever.

 

2. RAM Girls:

Forgets about you the moment you turn her off.

 

3. SCREEN SAVER Girls:

just for looking.

 

4. INTERNET Girls:

Difficult to access.

 

5. SERVER Girls:

Always busy when needed.

 

6. MULTIMEDIA Girls:

Makes horrible things looks beautiful.

 

7. VIRUS Girls :

These type of girls are normally called 'WIFE'

once enters in your system don't leave even after format..

Prayers been answered!!

A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem.

I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one   thing. They keep saying "Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?"

"That's terrible!" the priest exclaimed. "But I do have a solution to your problem. Bring your two parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots to whom I have taught to pray and read the bible.

My parrots will then teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship."

So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house.

The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her female talking parrots in with the male talking Parrots, and the female parrots say, "Hi, we're hot. Do you want a date?"

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams, "Put your Bible away Idiot, our prayers have been answered!!!!!!!"

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A Guy WAS chatting with a female (never met...

A Guy WAS chatting with a female (never met her directly) - Online chat. (Background, both are s/w engineers by the way and both work for real big MNC's ) Hero: Hey...GM (Good Morning)... How's u doing today? Female: VGM...Day is going good and it got better having found u on chat Hero: wow...am honored, u know what, my day starts only when I find you on Chat Female: Yep...me too feel the same...Brb (be right back)'ll get some Coffee. Hero: OK (Hero waits impatiently. Meanwhile, his manager comes to his seat.) Manager: Hey, I need some help from you Hero: [** This guy always comes at wrong time] Yeah tell me Manager: Could u write a program for me which generates nth prime number, given value of n. would you give this by today evening? Hero: I would do that, but I think it's quite hard, is it ok with you, if I give it by tomorrow evening. Manager: Yeah, that would be fine. Thank you [Leaves the place] (Our hero sighs and stares at his monitor waiting impatiently for Female to Arrive. All of a sudden smiles on his face. Over to chat window...) Female: Hey, am back Hero: cool, you know what my manager does, she's kinda..... Keeps asking stupid Things, tries to give me stupid work Female: Yeah, it's the same everywhere. Real sick people these managers are!! Hero: Yep, u rite!! Female: Hey, can u do me a favor Hero: smiles sure, why not. Female: Hey, I want you to write me a program to print nth prime Number; given N. Would you give that to me by tomorrow evening? Plzzz. You know it's real urgent for me to work this out Hero: hey, that's a one-hour's work. Sure check Ur mail in an hour from now. Ok? Female: THIS IS WHAT I ASKED U WHEN I CAME TO YOUR WORK PLACE. NOW YOU KNOW WHO I AM!! AND ONE MORE POINT.... YOUR 1 HOUR TIME STARTS NOW!!!!! :(

dying granny

 

A dying granny was talking to her granddaughter:

"I may die any minute so I want you to inherit my farm including the villa, tractor, the farmhouse and all the livestock and $22,389,630.00 cash".

The granddaughter replied: "Wow!!" 'Thanks granny, I didn't know you even had a farm & all this wealth! Where is it??"

Granny says with her last dying breath....

"

"""

""""""

""""""

."It's on my Facebook."

Same Service

 

Same Service

 

A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different, I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking." "Why complain?" said the counselor. " You're still getting the same service !"

__,_._,___

club 99

Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his luxurious lifestyle, was neither happy nor content.

 

One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing happily while he worked.  This fascinated the King; why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while a lowly servant had so much joy.

 

The King asked the servant, 'Why are you so happy?'

 

The man replied, 'Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant, but my family and I don't need too much - just a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our  tummies.'

 

The king was not satisfied with that reply. Later in the day, he sought the advice of his most trusted advisor. After hearing the King's woes and the servant's story, the advisor said, 'Your Majesty, I believe that the servant Has not been made part of The 99 Club.'

 

'The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?' the King inquired.

 

The advisor replied, 'Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99 Club is, place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant's doorstep.'

 

When the servant saw the bag, he took it into his house. When he opened the bag, he let out a great shout of joy... So many gold coins!

 

He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last convinced that there were 99 coins. He wondered, 'What could've happened to that last gold coin?  Surely, no one would leave 99 coins!'

 

He looked everywhere he could, but that final coin was elusive. Finally, exhausted he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever to earn that gold coin and complete his collection.

 

From that day, the servant's life was changed. He was overworked, horribly grumpy, and castigated his family for not helping him make that 100th gold coin. He stopped singing while he worked.

 

Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled. When he sought his advisor's help, the advisor said, 'Your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined The 99 Club.'

 

He continued, 'The 99 Club is a name given to those people who have enough to be happy but are never contented, because they're always yearning and Striving for that extra 1, saying to themselves: 'Let me get that one final thing and then I will be happy for life.' We can be happy, even with very little in our lives, but the minute we're given something bigger and better, we want even more! We lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt the people around us; all these as a price for our growing needs and desires.

 

That's the "Club 99".