Warning! The Things You Must Not Tell Anyone At Work
Warning! The Things You Must Not Tell Anyone At Work
Bernard Marr
Best-Selling Author and Enterprise Performance Expert
October 07, 2013
There are some things we shouldn't tell anyone at work. Sharing the 'wrong' things with co-workers can quickly backfire and leave us exposed, vulnerable or side-lined. While some banter with colleagues is great it is important to know where to draw the line.
Like most of us, I have definitely been there. We usually get an immediate sense for when we have crossed that line between acceptable banter and telling people things we shouldn't have. It is the looks we get as if they wanted to say: I never thought YOU would do THAT!? Or YOU believe WHAT? You are no longer the person I thought you were…
Anything you tell colleagues will spread faster than a revelation of a secret sex tape showing Kate Middelton and Justin Bieber would on Facebook and Twitter. Always remember everyone loves to pass on gossip. What's more, most people continue to talk and complain about colleagues when they get home or see friends.
So here are my top 10 things I believe you shouldn't share with anyone at work:
- Salary or money details – Never talk about money at work, be it details about your salary or how much you have spent on your house, car or latest gadget. Talking about money can trigger lots of negative feelings such as jealousy and resentment.
- Intimate details about your love or sex life – you might have the most amazing or most miserable love life there is but don't ever share the detail at work.
- Whether and how much alcohol you drink – even if you are nursing the hangover from hell or want to share the excesses of your super party weekend, don't do it at work. It will always look unprofessional. And as for talking about other drugs – don't even think about it!
- Political views – You might feel like saying: Why would anyone in their right mind vote for Obama? Simply don't do it. Politics can divide people and open up a massive can of worms.
- Religious views – The same applies to religious beliefs. It is great that people have their religions but remember that most wars are caused by religious differences.
- Non-pc jokes – We all like to have a laugh at work but not if it means you discriminate against anyone. If you feel the need to share jokes just think twice whether they might offend someone.
- Your Facebook account – Making friends at work is wonderful but I feel that connecting with all colleagues on Facebook is a step too far. I use LinkedIn for colleagues and Facebook only for close friends. I think it is so hard to control what goes out to others (e.g. comments of friends of friends etc.). Almost every day I see posts and pictures on Facebook that make me cringe (where friends of friends have posted completely inappropriate things) and it is best to keep colleagues out of that loop.
- Medical details – For whatever reason we love to talk about our illnesses and ailments. A bit like kids that can't wait to show others their scratches and bruises. Even though we all want to hear about medical details, work is not the place to share how you had an anal probe inserted to check for haemorrhoids.
- Gossip and negative comments about co-workers - Even if you think that everyone agrees David from the accounts department is a massive jerk – don't say it out loud!
- That you are looking for a new job – You might feel unhappy in your job and are actively looking for now post, but don't tell anyone at work. It will very quickly come out and could leave you in an awkward position.
So here you have it, my top 10 things you shouldn't share at work. Of course you can disagree with any of them and hopefully you'll let me know where you agree and disagree. Also, there are probably others you would add to this list – please let us know what they are…
Final thought: Of course there are some work places where it is safe to share more personal details. I am not advocating that you become a work robot that ever share any part of your personality with others. The point I am making is that at work it is usually inappropriate to share these things and can give unwanted ammunition to those who want to expose or side-line you.
Fwd: FW: HBR Blogs: Three Tips For Overcoming Your Blind Spots
Three Tips For Overcoming Your Blind Spots
by John Dame and Jeffrey Gedmin | 12:00 PM October 2, 2013
Ernst Cramer, the late, great editor-in-chief of the German daily Die Welt, once recounted how as a college student in America in the midwest, just after World War II, he questioned in a math class whether the textbook was not mistaken in a particular instance. The lecturer reflexively, and rather sternly, dismissed the possibility. Several months later, Cramer was working on a farm during summer vacation when he looked up to see his professor jogging across the field from a parked car in the distance. "Cramer," a repentant voice yelled, "you were right – the book was wrong and they've changed that section!"
Cramer related the tale as an endearing anecdote from his early experience in America. We're similarly charmed by the graciousness and integrity of Cramer's math professor. But we're re-telling the story here because the professor's first response reveals two failings all too common in managers. One is the reflex always to bestow uncritical faith in authorities (including one's own superiors) and handed-down rules; the other, the quick dismissal of seemingly irreverent assertions.
We all have such blind spots, and they are weaknesses we should combat. Even that idea is unfashionable in an era when we are urged to focus on polishing strengths. In the world of professional music, it's often the opposite. Most conductors, for instance, begin rehearsals by directing the orchestra immediately to the most difficult passages in a given piece, and spend most time on them, because they are areas of weakness.
But how do managers work actively to fight weaknesses of which, by definition, they are insufficiently aware? We'll offer a few tactics we have used deliberately to counter the effects of three infamous cognitive biases.
To fight confirmation bias, have a devil's advocate.
Confirmation bias refers to our tendency, when receiving new information, to process it in a way that it fits our pre-existing narrative about a situation or problem. Simply put, if you're already inclined to believe that the French are rude, you will find the examples on your trip to Paris to validate your thesis. Disconfirming evidence – the friendly waiter, the helpful bellman – gets pushed aside. They're just "the exception." Warren Buffett says, "What the human being is best at doing, is interpreting all new information so that their prior conclusions remain intact." He knows he is prone to it himself.
Attorneys, debaters, and politicians engage in a kind of confirmation bias when, in order to make a case, they select certain data while deliberately neglecting or deemphasizing other data. But confirmation bias can cause disaster in business and policy when it leads a decision-maker to jump to conclusions, fall prey to misguided analogies, or simply exclude information that inconveniently disturbs a desired plan of action.
What to do? The only remedy is to make sure you have a full and accurate picture available when making important decisions. When you have a theory about someone or something, test it. When you smell a contradiction – a thorny issue, an inconsistency or problem – go after it. Like the orchestral conductor, isolate it, drill deeper. When someone says – or you yourself intuit – "that's just an exception," be sure it's just that. Thoroughly examine the claim.
Dealing with confirmation bias is about reining in your impulses and challenging your own assumptions. It's difficult to stick to it day in and out. That's why it's important to have in your circle of advisers a brainy, tough-as-nails devil's advocate who – perhaps annoyingly, but valuably – checks you constantly.
To cure hindsight bias, keep a diary.
As we move through life, we all keep a running record, at least at some level in our memory banks, of what worked, what didn't, and why. The trouble is, most of us tend to have selective memories. Hindsight bias is confirmation bias's equally problematic sibling. Again, we're cherry-picking from a body of data, in this instance to confirm a theory about why something that has already happened (the 2008 financial crash, the re-election of Barack Obama, the decision to hire a senior executive or implement a business strategy) played out as it did.
There's nothing wrong with having theories, mental models, and frameworks of analysis. On the contrary. The problem begins when critical, independent thinking ends and we fail to keep testing our templates. Hindsight bias impairs our ability to draw the right conclusions, as we imagine after the fact that a situation in the past was avoidable, or a decision simpler than it actually was at the time. This is a point made compellingly by the Swiss businessman and novelist Rolf Dobelli in his new book The Art of Thinking Clearly – a fascinating examination of 99 cognitive inclinations that most of us carry around, generally unaware.
Here's one way to check hindsight bias: Keep a diary. And record minutes from important meetings. We have a friend who just for fun asks dinner guests in his Capitol Hill home in Washington – he entertains some pretty heady gatherings – to scribble on a piece of paper their predictions about politics, business, and world events. He tucks the scraps in a drawer, let's them settle for a year or so, and then pulls them out for a reading over coffee and dessert. It's pretty funny stuff. What becomes painfully clear is that we failed to predict much of anything – claims after the fact notwithstanding.
To overcome "groupthink" start with hiring.
In his 2008 book "Outliers: the Story of Success," Malcolm Gladwell shares a cultural theory of plane crashes. He notes that Korean Air had more crashes than virtually any other airline in the world for a period at the end of the 1990s. Why? It seems likely that Korean traditions of hierarchy created the tendency – including in the cockpit when something seemed out of place or not quite right – to defer to superiors.
Companies like developing their own culture. It's important. Yet a culture that binds too tightly suffocates, chokes off independent thought, and can create a Stepford-like environment. If you find yourself feeling exhilarated because everyone around you is thinking just like you, you should consider that a huge red flag. It may well be that people are self-censoring for fear of exclusion or retribution. There's also ample research – psychologist Irving Janis is the pioneer in this area – that when groups become too close-knit they fall prey to illusions of invincibility.
Fighting groupthink should start at the hiring stage. Look for people who share your basic values and purpose, but who are also tough, independent, and able to tell you what they think. Moreover: check that decisions at all levels in the company are being made on the basis of rationality, not merely flowing from authority or a tendency (however subconscious) to conform.
Which brings us back to editor Ernst Cramer, who also liked to tell the story of how he was first hired by legendary German publisher Axel Springer. The two men had a meeting at Springer's Berlin office that, in Cramer's view, did not go very well at all. It seems there was a serious bone of contention, a rather vehement disagreement on a political issue that went back and forth between the two for some time. Neither was willing to relent.
Later that day, Cramer received a call asking him to return to meet with Springer again. The publisher greeted the young editor with the announcement, "Cramer, you're hired." The somewhat stunned Cramer reminded Springer that the two had spent half their time that morning in very spirited debate, to which Springer replied: "Exactly – that's why I need you on the team!"
That's self-awareness. That's taking the blinders off for full vision. And exactly these things lie at the core of growth and great leadership.
JOHN DAME AND JEFFREY GEDMIN
John Dame is CEO of Dame Management Strategies (DMS). Jeffrey Gedmin is CEO of the Legatum Institute.
A Worthy Wednesday!!!
|
Peace of mind!!!
Once Buddha was walking from one town to another town with a few of his followers. While they were travelling, they happened to pass a lake. They stopped there and Buddha told one of his disciples, "I am thirsty. Do get me some water from that lake there". The disciple walked up to the lake. When he reached it, he noticed that some people were washing clothes in the water and, right at that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy, very turbid. The disciple thought, "How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink!" So he came back and told Buddha, "The water in there is very muddy. I don't think it is fit to drink". After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake and get him some water to drink. The disciple obediently went back to the lake. This time he found that the lake had absolutely clear water in it. The mud had settled down and the water above it looked fit to be had. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha. Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said, "See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be ... and the mud settled down on its own and you got clear water... Your mind is also like that. When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don't have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless." What did Buddha emphasize here? He said, "It is effortless." Having 'peace of mind' is not a strenuous job; it is an effortless process. When there is peace inside you, that peace permeates to the outside. It spreads around you and in the environment, such that people around start feeling that peace and grace.
Moral When you are disturbed, just give yourself some time. You'll calm down and will be able to think better!!!
|
What Women Should Do in these 5 Dangerous Situations
|
|
| EXPERT ADVICE |
|
Enter the lift & press all floor buttons up to your destination. No one will dare attack in a lift that stops on every floor. |
|
Run into the kitchen. You know where the chili powder and turmeric are kept, where knives and plates are. All these can be turned into deadly weapons.
Start throwing plates and utensils all over. Let them break. Scream. Remember that noise is the greatest enemy of a molester. He does not want to be caught |
|
Before getting into an auto at night, note down its registration number. Then use the mobile to call your family or friend and pass on the details to them in the language the driver understands.
Even if no one answers your call, pretend you are in a conversation. The driver now knows someone has his details and he will be in serious trouble if anything goes wrong. He is now bound to take you home safe and sound. A potential attacker is now your de facto protector |
|
Use the handle of your purse or your stole (Dupatta) to wrap around his neck and pull him back. Within seconds, he will feel choked and helpless. In case you don't have a purse or stole just pull him back by his collar. The top button of his shirt would then do the same trick. |
|
Enter into a shop or a house and explain your predicament. If it is night and shops are not open, go inside an ATM box. ATM centers always have security guards. They are also monitored by close circuit television. Fearing identification, no one will dare attack you.
|
|
After all, "being mentally alert is the greatest weapon" you can ever have.
Please spread it to all those women 'U' care & spread awareness as this is the least we can do for a social & moral cause and for the safety of women.
|
A Worthy Wednesday!!!
| Looking at Mirror One day all the employees reached the office and they saw a big advice on the door on which it was written: "Yesterday the person who has been hindering your growth in this company passed away. We invite you to join the funeral in the room that has been prepared in the gym". In the beginning, they all got sad for the death of one of their colleagues, but after a while they started getting curious to know who was that man who hindered the growth of his colleagues and the company itself. The excitement in the gym was such that security agents were ordered to control the crowd within the room. The more people reached the coffin, the more the excitement heated up. Everyone thought: "Who is this guy who was hindering my progress? Well, at least he died!" One by one the thrilled employees got closer to the coffin, and when they looked inside it they suddenly became speechless. They stood nearby the coffin, shocked and in silence, as if someone had touched the deepest part of their soul. There was a mirror inside the coffin: everyone who looked inside it could see himself. There was also a sign next to the mirror that said: "There is only one person who is capable to set limits to your growth: it is YOU." You are the only person who can revolutionize your life. You are the only person who can influence your happiness, your realization and your success. You are the only person who can help yourself. Your life does not change when your boss changes, when your friends change, when your partner changes, when your company changes. Your life changes when YOU change, when you go beyond your limiting beliefs, when you realize that you are the only one responsible for your life. "The most important relationship you can have is the one you have with yourself". Moral The world is like a mirror: it gives back to anyone the reflection of the thoughts in which one has strongly believed. The world and your reality are like mirrors lying in a coffin, which show to any individual the death of his divine capability to imagine and create his happiness and his success. It's the way you face Life that makes the difference.
|
A Worthy Wednesday!!! Temper Control
|
Temper Control…
As he grew, his parents became concerned about this personality flaw, and pondered long and hard about what they should do. Finally, the father had an idea. And he struck a bargain with his son. He gave him a bag of nails, and a BIG hammer. "Whenever you lose your temper," he told the boy, "I want you to really let it out. Just take a nail and drive it into the oak boards of that old fence out back. Hit that nail as hard as you can!"
Of course, those weathered oak boards in that old fence were almost as tough as iron, and the hammer was mighty heavy, so it wasn't nearly as easy as it first sounded. Nevertheless, by the end of the first day, the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence (That was one angry young man!). Gradually, over a period of weeks, the number dwindled down. Holding his temper proved to be easier than driving nails into the fence! Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He felt mighty proud as he told his parents about that accomplishment.
"As a sign of your success," his father responded, "you get to PULL OUT one nail. In fact, you can do that each day that you don't lose your temper even once." Well, many weeks passed. Finally one day the young boy was able to report proudly that all the nails were gone.
At that point, the father asked his son to walk out back with him and take one more good look at the fence. "You have done well, my son," he said. "But I want you to notice the holes that are left. No matter what happens from now on, this fence will never be the same. Saying or doing hurtful things in anger produces the same kind of result. There will always be a scar. It won't matter how many times you say you're sorry, or how many years pass, the scar will still be there. And a verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. People are much more valuable than an old fence. They make us smile. They help us succeed. Some will even become friends who share our joys, and support us through bad times. And, if they trust us, they will also open their hearts to us. That means we need to treat everyone with love and respect. We need to prevent as many of those scars as we can."
Moral
Everyone gets angry occasionally. The real test is what we DO with it. If we are wise, we will spend our time building bridges rather than barriers in our relationships.
|
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
