MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE FORWARDED E MAILS

STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM

Dear friends,

Many of you might have read this many a times. Just a mail forward. Just for fun. Enjoy.

STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM

Have you heard this one?...
STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM
I would have given him 100% for his wit!!!
�
Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?�
* his last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?�
* at the bottom of the� page

Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?�
* liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?�
* exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple?
*�The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
*�It will simply become wet

Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?�
*�No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?�
*�You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?�
*�Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a� wall, how long would it take four men to build it?�
* No time at all, the wall is already� built.

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?�
*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

Spread the laughter, share the cheer Let's be happy, while we're here !!

A journey to higher self

A monkey, which leaves the tree and swims in a lake, is inferior to fish.

A racehorse kept in a beautiful and posh apartment, is inferior to a rat.

A good swordsman given a plough to cultivate a piece of land is inferior to a peasant.

In the same way people feel inferior, if they are not awakened to a higher self.

'I am uncomfortable talking to people, I can't mix with people, I feel diffident in getting jobs done from others, I am an introvert. How can you help me?' a lady asked a Guru.

The art of living is about balancing. We have to balance our work, home, and mind. We should balance being outer winners and inner winners.
Reflect on this.

A woodcutter was toiling to earn two meals a day. He met a monk. The monk advised him, 'Drop being at the edge of the forest and go into the forest. Your daily hours of work will fetch you one month's food.'
The woodcutter followed the advice. Deep within the forest, he found sandalwood trees. He was very happy. He expressed his gratitude to the monk for having guided him.

The monk advised again, 'Take the risk of going still deeper into the forest. A day's work will fetch you food for six months. Fortunately, this also turned out to be true; for he found a silver mine. He thanked the monk again, profusely. The monk further advised, 'If you trust me and go further deeper into the forest, a day's work will make you earn enough to fetch you food for a life time.' This also turned out to be true; for he found a gold mine.
The woodcutter wondered, 'why then does the monk still stay at the edge of the forest and not venture into the forest, as he has been advising me?'
He expressed his doubts to the monk. The monk replied, 'If you want to be eternally happy, sit under this tree and I will teach you to go within. Then you will be eternally happy.'

To be outer winner, one has to explore the outside world. To be an inner winner, one has to go within oneself. The kingdom of heaven is within us.
One should balance being an outer and inner winner. Only then would one feel happy.

A HEART TOUCHING MESSAGE BY A WOMAN

A HEART TOUCHING MESSAGE BY A WOMAN

Someone asked her
Are you a working woman or a house-wife?
She replied: Yes I am a full time working house-wife.
I work 24 hours a day
I'm a mom,
I'm a wife,
I'm a daughter,
I'm a daughter-in-law,
I'm an Alarm clock,
I'm a Cook,
I'm a Maid,
I'm a Teacher,
I'm a waiter,
I'm a nanny,
I'm a nurse,
I'm a handyman,
I'm a Security officer,
I'm a Counselor,
I'm a comforter,
I don't get holidays,
I don't get sick leave,
I don't get day off,
I work through day and night,
I'm on call all hours and get paid with a sentence:
"What do you do all day"

Died of Shame

Annie, 6 years old, gets home from school.

She had just had her first family planning lesson at school.
Her mother, very interested, asks;" How did it go?"

"I died of shame!" answers!
" Why?" Her Mother asked.

Annie said, "Karen from down the road, says that the stork brings babies.
Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage. Peter in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital."

Her mother answers laughingly "But that's no reason to be ashamed?"

"No, but I can't tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves!"

Today's Dose - చాలాకాలంపాటు బతకాలని ఉంది

"నాకు చాలాకాలంపాటు బతకాలని ఉంది డాక్టర్. ఏమైనా హెల్త్ టిప్స్ చెబుతారా?" అడిగాడు రాము

"పెళ్ళి చేసుకోండి" సలహా ఇచ్చాడు డాక్టర్.

"అలాగైతే ఎక్కువ కాలం బతుకుతారా?" ఆశ్చర్యపోయాడు రాము.

"అదేం లేదులే. కాకపోతే అప్పుడు కాలం భారంగా గడుస్తూ ఎక్కువ కాలం బతికినట్టు అనిపిస్తుంది" అసలు సంగతి చెప్పాడు డాక్టర్.

Just for laughs

Sherlock Holmes and Watson go for trekking and pitch tent for the night at the top of a cliff. In the middle of the night Holmes wakes up Watson.

Holmes: "What do you see Watson?"

Watson: "Physically, I see the clear night sky. Astronomically, I see the millions of the stars in the sky. Astrologically, the Moon in the zodiac sign of Virgo...."

Holmes: "Basically, our tent has been stolen!"

*************************

A person engages a taxi after coming out of the airport. After going some distance, he taps the shoulder of the cabbie to tell him something.

The driver gives a violent start, avoids hitting the oncoming vehicles with lot of difficulty and somehow manages to pull the taxi on the wayside.

Then he turns back to tell the customer: "I am very sorry sir, for the mess. But then I was driving a hearse before I took up driving the Taxi..."